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Personal Background

 

Justin

This memorial website was created by Vicki in the memory of our loved one, Justin "J.D." Dugger who was born in Texas on December 03, 1989 and passed away on May 09, 2007 at the age of 17. We will remember him forever. 
When Justin was only a small child everyone talked about how sweet he was and never wanted to hurt anyones feelings. He was polite and respectful. He always knew he had something special that not everyone had and that was a bond with his family that could not be interrupted or altered no matter what would come. He knew that and appreciated that. He was all boy and loved cars and sports. He played football, baseball and soccer. As a youngster he was always the smallest and we worried that he may get hurt then he finally started to catch up in size and would not back down for anything. He was so smart and proud of his accomplishments. 



One of the things I remember is that he loved his hair. When he was about 10 he wrote an essay on "how to have his Hair". Detail by detail he described the steps. Just before he started high school he was embarrassed and preoccupied with his eyebrows so he accidently shaved them off! He then had to go get his hair cut very short in hopes that it wouldn't show up as much - we sure got a lot of laughs about that. He seemed to discover his love for girls early. Then, It was all about the girls. He would pick one and he would ask me "what do you think about her?" And of course, I would say she wasn't good enough for my JubbyD. 
I will never forget how much he loved maverick, I think he thought he was really his dog. We also shared an obsession with Rocky and we would recite the words to the movies together. His mom went and had pictures taken at the famous stairs he ran up. Justin loved that picture. We went together to see the final Rocky movie since no one else would go and we had a blast. Tell "Mic" hello for me J.D.
He was the most loving and giving person that I have ever known. He was my best friend by choice and nephew by God's grace. He loved his family and not just the spiritual bond but he wanted to be with us above anything else in his world. On prom night he and his friends came by my house, I think he wanted to drive my car and I offered but he said no and then they stayed awhile at prom even dancing despite the fact he said he wasn't and off to be with his mom and dad. 
He was always happy and just wanted to make other people laugh and smile and he did that task very well. A jokster he definitely was. I think he enjoyed this more with his Paw Paw than anyone. JD was the only one that His Paw Paw would have allowed to even get away wih such a thing. Until Justin, my dad only had his 2 little girls and boy did Justin teach him a thing or two about what it woulk have been like raising a son. 


Justin would spend so much time with his cousins just like they were his little borthers and sister. Never jealous of having to share them with Nana and paw paw, even though he had them all by himself for so many years. God he loved them so much and they did him too. He leaves his beautiful sky blue eyes to Caden, his kind heart and soul to Chase and his spark for life and curiousity to Kylee. And I will never let them forget him.

 


I am so glad he got to spend an entire month with us last summer even though his parents had never been away from him for that long and felt the need to call every single day. 


He was very competitive and not a great loser but was still respectful. He even learned to play golf, so he and his paw paw could challenge his dad. I never really knew who won because like his dad there are 20 versions to every game story. Some families have ups and downs, but not with Justin. I have not one simple regretful moment with him. I am sure of only one thing and that is... he was here for our joy. His family, his close friends, his not so close friends, his locker buddies, teammates and opponents witnessed his beautiful smile and laugh. He had already found true love with Stacey at only 17 and there was no doubt they were the real thing. 


Anyone who knew Justin, knew that he loved his car. He loved to drive it, sing in it, clean it, be heard coming around the corner in it, but most of all be seen in it. When he would come stay with me, it was funny because he would say "I'm going for a drive to let everyone see me" Kevin and I would just laugh. He didn't know anyone in the neighborhood.


I would have bet Stacey and Justin would have gone to college together and he would have accomplished his goal of becoming a child psychiatrist. He wanted to help kids with ADHD be able to overcome some of the struggles that he had in school. He loved kids and they were always so drawn to him. He was like a little kid so much of the time.



Days and weeks before the accident are bizarre. It seems like maybe in some way he knew that change was coming even though it was a sudden tragic accident. Maybe we all sensed something. I had purchased a sympathy card that talked about losing someone and how god would help us and I had no one to give it too. It sat on my desk at work for 2 weeks before the accident, now I know. JD's nana had just taken out a life insurance policy on her 4 grandkids just 2 weeks before. He called me to go see the new Spiderman movie and I couldn't go and he went by himself and told me "it's gonna be the hottest movie of the summer so I have to see it now". He wrote his girlfriend a letter that said if he died tomorrow he loved her and his life was complete. He stopped by his nana's house the morning he died and told her he loved her. He made his mom stop the car before leaving on his trip to Austin b/c he needed to give his dad a hug. His last words to his mom was that he loved her and his last myspace message and text on my phone was that he loved me. He had already made his mother's and father's day presents and they now have them to hold on to forever. I do not believe these things are coincidences. I believe in God and I hold on to my faith. A Divine Plan.



The pain of losing him is a debilitating kind of pain. I realize other people have lost loved ones and I have empathised, but never thought it would be my family.  I know I am now part of that new club and it is not one that I ever imagined I would join.  I have lost a piece of my own heart and soul and know it can never be replaced and from this moment forward life is never the same. I had plans with him and for him. I had hopes and dreams for him and they are now destroyed. We must find a new way to live and that seems like the most impossible task. Life is "out of order" and everything from the moment I wake up until I go to bed is now out of order. It does not seem fair to outlive a child of such perfection. I don't ask why, I just ask how. How do me and my family move forward, how do I let go, how do I possibly spend another 50 years without him here. How do I help my child who cries every night and says he wants to go to Heaven to be with Justin.



I am amazed at the support from JD's friends, teachers, coaches, and the entire town of Wills Point. He was loved by so many people. I also realize that we have been embraced by another kind of family and that is the family from each of our work places. I would like to especially  thank everyone at the Holiner Group for your thoughts, prayers, kind words, flowers, donations, but mostly I want to thank you for your love. Please continue to be patient and help me to be strong because I want to continue to do what I love to do and that is help others.



From Justin's Family -



We cannot express enough gratitude to the overwhelming support we have received and we need for you all to know that it did not go unnoticed. Thank you for celebrating his life. We know he always liked to be "seen"....I believe he is beautifully smiling from up above.


A Mother's Grief
by
Kelly Cummings

You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go

How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see

You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childs casket,
watched it perched above a grave?

You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.


Latest Tributes

so sorry for you loss - .I recently lost my mother I miss her so much she was my best friend, my mom use to call me every morning to make sure I woke for work, I miss hearing the phone ring I miss her voice I miss talking to her every night before I went to bed. As time goes by I realize how much she was a part of my days. When she was sick in the hospital I didn't want to miss a moment with her me and my sister and brothers practically moved in the hospital she always had a kind word for everyone, she was forgiving and good inside and out. I will never forget her my heart is broken without her. I can relate to what your going through time will never ease the pain I have 4 children I always said that losing a child or parent is the most painful I am so sorry for your loss I wish I can find a way to ease your pain other than know your not alone. My mom has been gone since 6/27/09 Theres not a day that goes by that I don't cry when I think of her my mom was very religious what gives me comfort sometimes is that I'll see her again. My heart goes out to you and your family my prayers are with you. 1/3/10 - from Denise Lombardo

Sharing your grief - My son Iain Christopher was 33 years old and sadly passed away last November. I am trying each day to get through this hell, My love and prayers are with you, Jacqui xxx 14.9.09 - from jacqui donachie

THINKIN OF YOU... - "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure." - from PAT-RICKYS MOM

HUGS AND PRAYERS - "HELLO SWEET ANGEL, YOU WILL BE FOREVER LOVED AND FOREVER MISSED AND FOR EVER IN OUR HEARTS." - from PAT-RICKYS MOM

Justin was beautiful inside and out - I am so sorry for you loss.Only mothers who have lost a child can understand the grief that we go through.I lost my 12 year old daughter Jordan Nov 10 2006.Its almost been 2 years but I still miss her so much. I can understand the poem a mothers grief so well. But I have also figured out that your true friend will let you talk about you child no matter what. If it makes people uncomfortable for me to still say my children have done that then thats to bad. I had her for 12 years I cant stop talking about her in 2.We have to talk about them so they will be remembered. Keep the faith Annette Mauk - from Annette Mauk

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