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This memorial website was sponsored by Vicki Terry. It will now remain online forever.

 

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Personal Background

 

This memorial website was created by Vicki in the memory of our loved one, Justin "J.D." Dugger who was born in Texas on December 03, 1989 and passed away on May 09, 2007 at the age of 17. We will remember him forever. 
When Justin was only a small child everyone talked about how sweet he was and never wanted to hurt anyones feelings. He was polite and respectful. He always knew he had something special that not everyone had and that was a bond with his family that could not be interrupted or altered no matter what would come. He knew that and appreciated that. He was all boy and loved cars and sports. He played football, baseball and soccer. As a youngster he was always the smallest and we worried that he may get hurt then he finally started to catch up in size and would not back down for anything. He was so smart and proud of his accomplishments. 

One of the things I remember is that he loved his hair. When he was about 10 he wrote an essay on "how to have his Hair". Detail by detail he described the steps. Just before he started high school he was embarrassed and preoccupied with his eyebrows so he accidently shaved them off! He then had to go get his hair cut very short in hopes that it wouldn't show up as much - we sure got a lot of laughs about that. He seemed to discover his love for girls early. Then, It was all about the girls. He would pick one and he would ask me "what do you think about her?" And of course, I would say she wasn't good enough for my JubbyD. 
I will never forget how much he loved maverick, I think he thought he was really his dog. We also shared an obsession with Rocky and we would recite the words to the movies together. His mom went and had pictures taken at the famous stairs he ran up. Justin loved that picture. We went together to see the final Rocky movie since no one else would go and we had a blast. Tell "Mic" hello for me J.D.
He was the most loving and giving person that I have ever known. He was my best friend by choice and nephew by God's grace. He loved his family and not just the spiritual bond but he wanted to be with us above anything else in his world. On prom night he and his friends came by my house, I think he wanted to drive my car and I offered but he said no and then they stayed awhile at prom even dancing despite the fact he said he wasn't and off to be with his mom and dad. 
He was always happy and just wanted to make other people laugh and smile and he did that task very well. A jokster he definitely was. I think he enjoyed this more with his Paw Paw than anyone. JD was the only one that His Paw Paw would have allowed to even get away wih such a thing. Until Justin, my dad only had his 2 little girls and boy did Justin teach him a thing or two about what it woulk have been like raising a son. 

Justin would spend so much time with his cousins just like they were his little borthers and sister. Never jealous of having to share them with Nana and paw paw, even though he had them all by himself for so many years. God he loved them so much and they did him too. He leaves his beautiful sky blue eyes to Caden, his kind heart and soul to Chase and his spark for life and curiousity to Kylee. And I will never let them forget him.

 

I am so glad he got to spend an entire month with us last summer even though his parents had never been away from him for that long and felt the need to call every single day. 

He was very competitive and not a great loser but was still respectful. He even learned to play golf, so he and his paw paw could challenge his dad. I never really knew who won because like his dad there are 20 versions to every game story. Some families have ups and downs, but not with Justin. I have not one simple regretful moment with him. I am sure of only one thing and that is... he was here for our joy. His family, his close friends, his not so close friends, his locker buddies, teammates and opponents witnessed his beautiful smile and laugh. He had already found true love with Stacey at only 17 and there was no doubt they were the real thing. 

Anyone who knew Justin, knew that he loved his car. He loved to drive it, sing in it, clean it, be heard coming around the corner in it, but most of all be seen in it. When he would come stay with me, it was funny because he would say "I'm going for a drive to let everyone see me" Kevin and I would just laugh. He didn't know anyone in the neighborhood.

I would have bet Stacey and Justin would have gone to college together and he would have accomplished his goal of becoming a child psychiatrist. He wanted to help kids with ADHD be able to overcome some of the struggles that he had in school. He loved kids and they were always so drawn to him. He was like a little kid so much of the time.

Days and weeks before the accident are bizarre. It seems like maybe in some way he knew that change was coming even though it was a sudden tragic accident. Maybe we all sensed something. I had purchased a sympathy card that talked about losing someone and how god would help us and I had no one to give it too. It sat on my desk at work for 2 weeks before the accident, now I know. JD's nana had just taken out a life insurance policy on her 4 grandkids just 2 weeks before. He called me to go see the new Spiderman movie and I couldn't go and he went by himself and told me "it's gonna be the hottest movie of the summer so I have to see it now". He wrote his girlfriend a letter that said if he died tomorrow he loved her and his life was complete. He stopped by his nana's house the morning he died and told her he loved her. He made his mom stop the car before leaving on his trip to Austin b/c he needed to give his dad a hug. His last words to his mom was that he loved her and his last myspace message and text on my phone was that he loved me. He had already made his mother's and father's day presents and they now have them to hold on to forever. I do not believe these things are coincidences. I believe in God and I hold on to my faith. A Divine Plan.

The pain of losing him is a debilitating kind of pain. I realize other people have lost loved ones and I have empathised, but never thought it would be my family.  I know I am now part of that new club and it is not one that I ever imagined I would join.  I have lost a piece of my own heart and soul and know it can never be replaced and from this moment forward life is never the same. I had plans with him and for him. I had hopes and dreams for him and they are now destroyed. We must find a new way to live and that seems like the most impossible task. Life is "out of order" and everything from the moment I wake up until I go to bed is now out of order. It does not seem fair to outlive a child of such perfection. I don't ask why, I just ask how. How do me and my family move forward, how do I let go, how do I possibly spend another 50 years without him here. How do I help my child who cries every night and says he wants to go to Heaven to be with Justin.

I am amazed at the support from JD's friends, teachers, coaches, and the entire town of Wills Point. He was loved by so many people. I also realize that we have been embraced by another kind of family and that is the family from each of our work places. I would like to especially  thank everyone at the Holiner Group for your thoughts, prayers, kind words, flowers, donations, but mostly I want to thank you for your love. Please continue to be patient and help me to be strong because I want to continue to do what I love to do and that is help others.

From Justin's Family -

We cannot express enough gratitude to the overwhelming support we have received and we need for you all to know that it did not go unnoticed. Thank you for celebrating his life. We know he always liked to be "seen"....I believe he is beautifully smiling from up above.

A Mother's Grief
by
Kelly Cummings

You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go

How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see

You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childs casket,
watched it perched above a grave?

You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.

Latest Tributes

broken heart - JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM FOR YOUR LOSS.MY SON WAS KILLED ON AN ATV ON APRIL 21,2008.WHEN THEY TOLD ME MY SON HAD DIED I JUST WANTED TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY,AS I GOT UP TO RUN OUT THE HOSPITAL ADVOCATE TURNED TO ME AND ASKED WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE US TO TAKE YOUR SON.I WAS IN SHOCK,30 SECONDS AFTER MY WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN I HAD TO MAKE THE DECISION OF WHAT FUNERAL HOME TO TAKE MY BABY TO.WHAT SEEMED LIKE A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE SUDDENLY TURNED INTO PLANNING MY SONS MEMORIAL.I WENT WITH MY PARENTS AND HUSBAND TO THE FUNERAL HOME AND JUST BROKE,SOME DECISIONS I COULD MAKE AND SOME SUCH AS PICKING OUT THE CASKET I COULD NOT BRING MYSELF SO ALLOWED PEOPLE TO HELP WITH THOSE.I HAD DECIDED TO MAKE THIS A CELEBRATION OF HIS LIFE AND WE PUT TOGETHER A BEAUTIFUL SLIDE SHOW THAT RAN THRU THE 3 HOUR VISITATION PERIOD.WE ALSO DECIDED TO DO THE VISITATION AND FUNERAL IN THE SAME DAY BECAUSE I KNEW I COULD NOT DO THIS ALL ANOTHER DAY.WE HAD SUCH AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHICH WAS VERY HONORABLE FOR JORDAN.LIFE HAS BEEN SO UP AND DOWN.I CRY,I LAUGH,I HURT.I ALSO HAVE A 4 YR OLD DAUGHTER THAT I HAVE TO GO ON FOR.I TANGLED WITH MY FAITH SOMEWHAT BECAUSE I JUST DID NOT UNDERSTAND.I KNOW JORDAN IS WITH THE LORD AND I WILL SEE HIM SOMEDAY BUT SOMETIMES IT JUST SEEMS TO FAR AWAY.MY PARENTS CARRY AN EXTRA BURDEN BECAUSE THEY BOUGHT HIM THE 4-WHEELER.I KNOW WE ALL HAVE AN APPOINTED TIME SO BLAME NEVER CROSSED MY MIND.I KNEW THEY TOO WERE DIEING INSIDE.JORDAN WAS HALF OF MY HEART AND SOUL AND I DO NOT KNOW IF IT EVER GETS EASIER.IT WILL BE A MONTH THIS MONDAY AND IT STILL HURTS LIKE IT WAS 5 MINUTES AGO,MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.I REALIZE THIS WAS A TRIBUTE TO YOUR SON JUSTIN AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW I TRUELY FEEL YOUR PAIN.WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO OUT LIVE OUR CHILD.I CHOSE NOT TO SEE JORDAN AFTER THE ACCIDENT BECAUSE I WANTED TO REMEMBER THE SMILE ON HIS FACE THAT SUNDAY AFTER CHURCH BEFORE THE ACCIDENT THAT OCCURED ON MONDAY.I ATTENDED THE VISITATION BUT JUST SAT OUTSIDE THE ROOM SO I WOULD NOT HAVE TO SEE HIS BODY IN THE CASKET,I ALSO SAT IN THE CAR AT THE BURIAL BECAUSE MY HEART COULD NOT TAKE SEEING HIM GO UNDER THE GROUND,THAT IS A DECISION I MADE AND HOPE I DO NOT LIVE TO REGRET.THE LORD HAS GIVEN ME SO MUCH PEACE AND I WOULDNT BE HERE TODAY WITHOUT HIM.BUT PLEASE CONTINUE TO KEEP MY FAMILY IN YOUR PRAYERS.GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.JUSTIN IS A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL. - from kathy

I am so sorry - I know your pain only to well. My daughter Nicole died Oct 8th, 2007 she was 20. I miss my daughter every day. I wil pray for you and your family. lean on those who offer help. Never apologize for your tears cry when you want laugh when you can. Love and Prayers Connie (Nicole's mom and best friend) - from Connie Czernuch

I too share your pain - I lost my oldest son, my best friend, he was 28 and lived with me, we kind of grew up together I had him at a very young age of 15. He was the type of son that no matter how old or how many girlfriends he had, he always checked in with me and or checking on me. Well one day he didn't check in and I found myself waiting for him to walk in, on April 18, 2004 my son checked into a hotel 40 miles aways from home and committed suicide, he didn't want to live in this world, OMG what guilt I had for not knowing or seeing his pain that he hid really good ! Now the 4th anniversary of his death is just around the corner and I am feeling it big time. I waited for him to walk through that door to only hug me and tell me he loved me, waiting to here about his adventures with his friends / girlfriend, YES even after I was told he would NEVER return home again, I just wanted to die to be with him, couldnt imagine how my life would or can move on without my baby boy. Heard a lot of "time will heal", "you will get over it as time moves on" "I understand what you are going through, I too lost my dad,mom". Only those of us who have been through it KNOWS the feeling of emptiness within and the GUILT one feels when a day or hour goes by and you find yourself not crying or thinking of him. I can say one thing, as time moves on, it does get easier to cope with the loss, I almost had too try to learn to deal with the every day living situations. I love my son, and I still have my moments of out burst, but I do know if there would have been a way for me to prevent the suicide, who's to say he would have NOT done it later in life, or lived life as a vegatable? I now pray for him and tell him all the time "you need to make sure you make a place for me, when its my turn" and give grandma a hug. My prayers are with you and the family. PS: I loved the poem, it made me cry God Bless you - from Gloria

The same pain - The poem touched my Heart.I know how you feel being have lost a family member. I lost my brother Tyler of Meningtis when he was 9. I also lost a very close person to me Cathie Overdorf who is on here.Rest in Peace Justin .You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers - from Jacob O

Sharing you pain - I know what a close loss is i lost my 19year old son on Sept 16,2001 in a car accident and my life was change for ever you ccan only just get used to the fact that he is not here and on nov 15,2003 I lost my 7 year old grandaugther all I can tell you my heart lives on because with out it I would just die so you not along My prayer and love for you and your family - from Maria

Latest Memories

samantha - hey i'm so srry about Justin i just lost my friend jon i cant belive dat he died so fast he died of cancer just 2 days ago i'm so srry!=(

Karly - I am so sorry about the loss of Justin. I was just looking for a short poem to give one of my friends. Her mom passed two years ago and her moms birthday is tomorrow. I personally haven't lost anyone whom was part of my family, but I can only imagine how hard it must be. Just remember all the good times you've had with him and know that he is watching over you and smiling at what he see's and that one day you will meet again. I'm sorry again.

MANDY - I KNOW WE SHOULD"T QUESTION GOD, We all know this is true. We know our God is a loving God, so we don't know what to do. After sleepless nights, And endless prayers, I think, I understand, God needed J.D. more than us; He had a bigger plan. So, let's be thankful for the good times, Wishing they didn't have to end, And for as long as we all shall live, We can remember our Special Freind! I am sorry about the passed of Justin he was a handsome fine young man he was a very cute man he knew he was loved by family members and always will be

courtney - jusitn wuzz a very fine and handsome young man he went a such a young age he is in god's hands he will one araise from the gravsite and will will see him in haven his a angle but the hard think is to love him as he wuzz i always will loved but the day he died i wonder how quick it happen that wuzz so terrible seeing he in the casket lying there and kissing the casket and the last look before putting him in the ground and burried him he was a fine decent and a good man he loved his family and he freinds but the memories are forvever and always

Maria - You ask me how I'm feeling but do you really want to know? The moment I am try telling you You say you have to go How can I tell you, what it's been like for me I am haunted, I am broken By things that you don't see I am Justin class mate i could take to him when i was sad and he would tell me that i was his favorite freind in the world i miss him every day but i will always know that he was loved by his family and grandparents and his girlfreind he wuzz as sweet as he could be to someone that i really miss him every night before i go to bed i remember you and my prayers because i know that you miss him telling you that he love you it is hard for me to talk about justin we i do i start crying but i know that he will be remember forever